Welcome to my soapbox. Here you can typically expect to find my various and sundry diatribes, vituperations and general jawing on whatever it is that's on my mind at the time that I decide to post - you know, typical, self-indulgent blogging for the sake of externalizing what was previously a perfectly content internal monologue and putting it on the page for all the world to see. Again, welcome. Thanks, The Management

Monday, March 21, 2005

Say Cheese!

As if his legacy as frontman for the cotton candy band Hootie and the Blowfish wasn't enough, Darius Rucker - better known as "Hootie" - has timed the release of his solo debut album with an appearance in arguably the strangest commercial to come along since the Noid. Looking like a Liberace cowboy interpretation, Hootie dons a purple rhinestone cowboy blouse and sings his way through a psychedelic wonderland where burgers grow on trees, men wear ludicrous pastel rhinestone getups, and Brooke Burke rides a swing seemingly pushed by the creepy king in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood. Yes, Hootie and the Blowfish sucks, but you'd think even a mediocre agent could get a fad-band frontman a better gig than a fast-food commercial.

In other news that effects our lives in tangible, meaningful ways: John DeLorean has passed on at the tender age of 80. Best known by my generation as the father of the car used in Back to the Future, DeLorean apparently had a little trouble with the law when he started shipping cocaine into the country in the wheel wells of his cars. It seems Mr. DeLorean had some trouble securing operating capital to finance his car company. GM CEO and Chairman Richard Wagoner issued a statement saying DeLorean, "made a name for himself through his talent, creativity, innovation and daring." Nothing says daring like a court case for conspiring to sell $24 million worth of cocaine to finance your car company. Kudos to you, Mr. DeLorean, you daring innovator you.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My condolences to the DeLorean family on their loss is granted, but my sympathy to the man who was 'driven' to the drug trade due to his own myopia is reserved. In 1985, Robert Zemeckis via Doc Brown provided gratis a consulting boon with the flux capacitor improvement to the DeLorean. Talk about the generosity of an inventor. But John DeLorean, afflicted with delusions of self-importance and fatally stubborn by nature, ignored this gift of intellectual property and continued manufacturing cars based on his own limited vision. Imagine, had the car maker followed Doc's lead, he would be selling the sleek 2-bucket-seater left, right and in at least 2 other dimensions. Mr. DeLorean had it delivered to him on a plutonium platter, and he simply refused to shift his production into the next gear. The incandescent flashing 'Y' should have been a beacon of things to come in the automotive world, and had Delorean possessed in brainpower even a pinch of the 1.21 jigawatts required to jettison Doc's machine into time travel, his car would be the benchmark of style and innovation in an otherwise pedestrian automotive world.

But as we peer into our cracked rear view, we realize the world needs one-hit wonders too. And with his inaction, Mr. DeLorean might as well have announced to that set: "I only want to be with you".

To that I say, have it your way.TM.

3:28 PM


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